My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize