Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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