I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
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I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
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There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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