why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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