This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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