Im at strip club and am horny
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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