So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
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You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
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This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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