He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Please don't give away my fajitas
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize