But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
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gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize