Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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