I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
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Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
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I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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