i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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