I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize