rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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