she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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