I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize