So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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