At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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