Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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