I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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