Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize