why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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