I just cut my nipple shaving
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize