Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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