All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
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Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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