You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize