i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize