Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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