Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I forget how to act sober
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