I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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