Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize