worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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