somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize