Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize