I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize