I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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