He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize