Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize