Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize