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I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
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