Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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