im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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