Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
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There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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