$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize