Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize