dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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