I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize