He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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