Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize