She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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